ALL TOO MUCH FOR OLIVER by Leila Boukarim

I met Leila recently at the Singapore Writers’ Festival. She was there to introduce another speaker and not really for her own book. But I found her illustrated children’s book ‘All Too Much For Oliver’ on the speaker’s book table, and asked who the writer was.

I was immediately drawn to her book that describes a highly sensitive child who prefers a quiet world without too much stimulation...most of the time.

Young Oliver likes going to the park. He likes playing in the playground. He likes swimming. He likes parties. But only if there aren't too many kids around, if it isn’t too noisy, and if there is one person he likes that could take his attention away from everything else around him.

I can identify with that right away. During almost my entire school life, I hardly joined classmates in crowded tuckshops during recess time but preferred slow walks with just one friend in quieter places further out in the school compound. We would eat only when others were finishing and clearing out of the school canteen. I was used to friends feeling abandoned and asking, ‘Where have you been?’ but it felt weird to tell them that I needed to get away to recharge after four lessons of morning class with them! I didn’t even know how to describe the need for solitude. So I never did. Though I started conversations with others easily, I usually had only one friend at a time and that was totally normal. Any more would simply wear me out. Yet, I’ve thrown more parties than most people I know. I just need enough time alone to reflect, recharge and enjoy company.

So in short, the book means a lot to me. And I felt comfortable enough to ask Leila if she was also a highly-sensitive person (HSP) and she said yes. It was the first time in my life that I could be so open with another human about this without feeling like an anomaly. It was liberating!

I snapped up two copies of the book without a second thought!

Where you can get it: Leila says her book is available at Kinokuniya.

SHY by Deborah Freedman

I believe in having a childlike attitude towards life, and enjoy popping into children’s bookstores to sniff out good books with the intensity of a dog sniffing the ground on its walk. Children’s books have a way of telling us much with great simplicity and it takes a gifted storyteller to deliver a story that has different layers of meaning for both children and adults.

SHY caught my attention one afternoon. Something about its size and hard cover belies its demure title – it is bigger than most books. As a book lover, I was immediately drawn to the first sentence: “Shy was happiest between the pages of a book.” It goes on to describe a giraffe who, in spite its build and bearing, liked to read about birds but never got to befriend any because it was too shy.

“But Shy had never actually heard a bird.

  None of his books could sing.”

To younger children, the books talks about getting to know someone of different ethnicity or ability.

To preteens, it can introduce the topic of having friends of the opposite sex.

For adults, we can reflect on meaningful friendships that we can open up to without fear.

Most children books have no page number and it took me just a short time to browse through the book at the store. So I will not give away the ending. But it is one that rewards opening the windows of our lives to let others in – whatever our age.

Where you can get it: Books Ahoy! at Forum Galleria (about $31), and Book Depository (about $21).

When Broken Glass Floats

by Chanrithy Him

 

Increasingly, recent news have highlighted students from disadvantaged backgrounds who topped their classes and earned scholarships.  From observing people in my life, those who grew up with less privileges seemed more determined to do well than those who did not experience prolonged hardships. 

Perhaps adversities are not as pernicious as they appear though they are always known for poor timing. Often described as metaphorical waves that sweep over us and render us powerless, to wave riders, board and wind surfers, they are gifts of nature for learning tricky manoeuvres and new overcoming tactics. Perhaps we too could learn much through adversities to emerge with new life skills and aspirations.  Therefore, to adjust is merely learning how to ride the episodic wave and surf on its power – what you certainly could not do on calm waters. 

For about four years from April of 1975, the Khmer Rouge brought intensive waves of human displacement and unthinkable suffering throughout Cambodia.  Seen through the innocence and resilience of a 10-year-old, When Broken Glass Floats chronicles life before and after the Khmer Rouge.  As a child, her innocence sees the outcome of cruel inhumanity rather than the gory processes and details that are kept away from children, and her resilience makes the renewability of the human spirit admirable.

Deprived of family contact and food, and shrivelling with untreated infection from drinking undrinkable water and eating inedible food in the harsh fields of forced labour, she wrote:

Hunger doesn’t make me modest. I continue to gorge on the food. I feel Pok’s eyes watching us – I don’t care. I’ve unlearned Cambodian table manners, all the cultural rules. Today these things don’t apply to me. I’ve learned to well, adjusting to today’s scarcity...one must adapt to one’s situation in order to survive. And I’m adjusting to my new environment, a world where formality and politeness are not a necessity – indeed are banned. Instead, cruelty is the law by which the people are ruled, a law designed to break our spirits. In the name of padewat (the revolution). Even though he works for the Khmer Rouge, Pok doesn’t have a heart of stone like them. The goodness in him has lifted my spirit.

What I like about this memoir is that it’s not just another survivor’s account of hardship under the Khmer Rouge, using words as an ‘incantation to make things right in my soul’. 

There are times when I’ve denied my own memories, when I’ve neglected the little girl in me. There would always be time to grieve, I told myself. I pushed down memories in pursuit of important things. Education. Medical school. I wanted to make a difference in the world, to do good deeds, fulfil a child’s wish. There would be a time for memories, but I never anticipated it, never sought it out. There would be a time.

As I sit in the eerie glow of my computer screen summoning up the past, I know that it is time. I invite the memories back in, apprehensive but hungry for them. In trying to understand my drive to tell others what was scorched in my mind, I recognize my fortitude and ambition, which are rooted in the people who gave me life – my parents.

Convinced that good must come through even painful experiences, Chanrithy Him emerges with dignity, compassion and continues to champion for the treatment of post traumatic stress disorder [PTSD] for children of war.

The Sandwich Swap

by Her Majesty Queen Rania Al Abdullah

For a book to have blurps by a US President, a First Lady and a billionaire philanthropist, it is unusual.  For a children’s book to bear such pre-eminence, it must be authored by a royalty no less!  And so it is: ‘The Sandwich Swap’ is penned by none other than Her Majesty Queen Rania Al Abdullah. It is a simple and meaningful story about a cross-cultural friendship between Lily, who is Caucasian, and Salma, of Middle eastern descent.  They are best friends and inseparable . 

But where humanity and personality bring them together, tragically, the food that epitomize their distinct cultural backgrounds would divide them.  Lily swears by peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch, while Salma holds unflinching loyalty to hummus and pita sandwich.  Each girl esteems her sandwich because of the parent who has lovingly prepared it.  And each one thinks the world of her parent and therefore, about her sandwich.  Any criticism of the sandwich is an inexcusable insult and fiercely defended.  

In reality though, a brown paste of ground roasted peanuts is really not that different from a paste of mashed chickpeas. Both are mushy: their palatability determined only by exposure and experience.  

But the showdown comes when one exerts superiority of preference over another.  (Reminiscent of the story circulating here around a Chinese family's complaint of the smell of curry coming from their Indian neighbors' house everyday.)  Bigotry in any form is impolite and distasteful.  There are no winners in this tug-of-war: whether it’s between Europeans, Americans, Chinese, Indians, Vietnamese, Latinos or Middle-easterners.

The two girls become estranged and lonely. Stories of their dispute spread and trigger an all-out food fight at the canteen! Through it they begin to see the absurdity of it all, and bravely, they start to make conciliatory moves to appreciate each others' cultural heritage...beginning with a simple exchange of sandwiches. And they are once again friends.

However, when they discover how enriched they are to have tasted each others’ sandwich and pita [called falafel in Israel], they just know that they must take the message to the masses and organize an international lunch buffet for the other students to spread the good news and the peace agenda!

BIGOTRY really is like sticking to one type of lunch and exerting its superiority over other choices. In the end, it’s isolating and lonely, and short-changes one of tremendous enjoyment that comes from being open to other cultural experiences just because you can.

WTF ABC

by Mo [that's what it says one one of the three title pages]

What kind of people would pay S$15 for a book merely the size of a men's wallet with crisp pages of sometimes imperfect English? I would imagine it's the kind of people who dream of putting out 68-page [excluding cover count] booklets without proofreading that people would pay S$15 for. Or the kind of people who love the play on words - even in non-standard formats.

Cover of the 14x10cm booklet, two heads represent Volume 2



Title page in Chinese

[first line says, 'An English book';

second line is sadly beyond my grasp of Chinese]





The booklet contain short verses that give the meaning of words - not in the usual way a dictionary would explain it. It treat every word as a character capable of thoughts, plots and hidden agenda that is so mutated in our thoughts that when we think we are picking words to fit our expressions and give meaning to what we want to say, the words we choose actually take on a behaviour and meaning of their own beyond what we want to say.

Just look at when we use the words 'someone', 'same', 'us', and 'give and take'.

Someone

Someone is always stirring shit.

It's never you, me, him, her, us or whoever.

It's always Someone.

Really.

Same

Same is lame.

As lame as fame.

As fame is quite a game.

Same shouldn't take the blame.

[Couch blogger's thoughts: 'same' is the keyword and driver of insidious groupthink: nobody's wrong if everybody thinks the same.]

Us

Us preferred his name spelt in lowercase.
He's just not that overrated.
Just like us.
[Couch blogger's thoughts: 'us' is often used to replace 'I' when we [I] want to avoid standing out with our [my] independent thoughts. As illustrated here.]

Give & Take

Give cares for her son, Take.

She gives everything she's got.

He takes everything he's given.

And they're still fighting all night long.

[Couch blogger's thoughts: the expression 'give and take' is usually used where there's conflict.]

Where you can get it: S$15.00 Books Actually [an independent bookstore located at 9 Yong Siak Street, Tiong Bahru. Tel: 6222-9195]
Level of impact: Enjoyable easy read for young and old who enjoy word puns. Every word is presented with a hand-drawn illustration on the facing page.
Timing of book: Good for conversation and laughter over a cuppa at Forty Hands cafe, right opposite the bookstore. 

The Wisdom of Whores

by Elizabeth Pisani

'Gripping and surprisingly entertaining... an important and wise book.' Sunday Times

'A wonderful book' Daily Telegraph

From blurps like these, it's hard to surmise what lies between the covers. Is the provocative title to be taken seriously, or is it shallow seduction?

HOW TO FIND A GOOD READ?

Tip #1 

Well, I found this rebel sitting on the shelf in the sociology section of Kinokuniya. When you find a non-academic title on those shelves, you kinda feel that somebody has a deviant point of view - the ingredient for an interesting read.    

Tip #2

If a book holds your interest for five minutes, put your money down for a good read.

Pisani is first of all, an American now based in Singapore. As a teenager, she was so impressed with the Chinese culture while holidaying in Hong Kong that she pursued a degree in classical Chinese and subsequently worked as a foreign correspondent with Reuters covering Asia. Even as she discovered that she loves being paid to travel and chat with people (research and investigate), she soon got frustrated with 'trying to reduce human experience to 600 words on a two-hour deadline.' I always like a woman who knows what she doesn't like and even put it in words! She took a critical look at her life and knew she wanted to do more research to help improve lives. [Writing and research? We could have been separated at birth.] So armed with the desire to learn more about the politics of population control and biology at junior high level, she signed up for a Masters degree in medical demography and sat among doctors, virologists, lab technicians and of course, statisticians, from around the world. It's good when you jump that you don't know how deep the water is.

This is a non-fiction graphic report on the spread of AIDS in Indonesia in a style that moves away from academic writing, making it a totally pleasurable read. The details, I was to find out, did not make for good dinner conversation because the mechanics of spreading HIV from man to man to woman to man to man... doesn't particularly aid digestion. That again, it depends on who you're eating with. 

I would love to have dinner with Pisani. I'm inspired by her gusto, her investigative streak, her writing, her degree of concern for humanity and her sense of humour. Makes a great dining companion.

Where you can get it: S$22.47 Kinokuniya
Level of impact: Good motivational read on research. The author herself is an inspiration to live a progressive life based on what you have, what you know and what you can be.
Timing of book: Affirms my belief in the good of research plus action.

Stones into Schools

by Greg Mortenson

Determined to find a non-fiction on humanitarian projects, I was delighted to find this title at the Changi airport on the way to Hong Kong for a short break. I had needed some inspiration for an upcoming exam that involved presenting a social service organisation.

Mortenson's drive and determination to set up schools in remote villages in Pakistan is beyond noble. Even reading about his arduous inland travels on dirt roads has a nauseating effect on me. His cultural competency is imperative, admirable and worth emulating.

I didn't finish the book only because I wanted inspiration and not full facts on the negotiation and development process for each school project. And I was inspired whatever critics may say of Mortenson's authenticity.  For those looking for a how-to guide on exploiting educational opportunities for girls in Pakistan or other impoverished countries, this should be an indispensable read.

The dedication page of the book aptly says 'To the noble people of Afghanistan and Pakistan and to the 120 million school-age children in the world who are deprived of their right of education.'  According to the United Nations Millennium Development Goals Report 2010, education remains out of reach for girls in impoverished nations.

Khaled Hosseini [author of The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns] included this wise African proverb in his Foreword, 'If you educate a boy, you educate an individual, but if you educate a girl, you educate a community.'

Where you can get it: S$22.47 Times
Level of impact: Good insightful descriptions of cultural inroads to Pakistan.
Timing of book: Impeccable.

Nimby Attitude

Do we need to check our own?

Found this article in the South China Morning Post. It describes people enjoying the benefits of having public facilities like rubbish dumps, public toilets for the disabled, columbarium or drug rehab centre, but refusing to have any located near them. What they are in fact saying is 'These are good, but Not In My Backyard or anywhere near where I live!' It seems people are afraid of having 'smells, bad luck or the "wrong" kind of people' too close to them. 

Interesting. How much of the NIMBY syndrome do we have in our midst? In light of the recent highlight on youth violence, how much are we ready to be involved in helping vulnerable children and youths at-risk before they turn to the inevitable path of crime and violence? Is our response one of genuine empathy as a community to the plight of the young who are vulnerable or merely an expression of a NIMBY syndrome to get rid of the offending youths?

The Hole in the Gospel

by Richard Stearns

I like reading the introduction chapter because it usually captures the heart and soul of the book. If I like the introduction, chances are, I'll enjoy the rest of the book.

Richard Stearns, President of World Vision, US, wrote in the introduction of this book [page 2]: "The idea behind The Hole in Our Gospel is quite simple. It's basically the belief that being a Christian, or follower of Jesus Christ, requires much more than just having a personal and transforming relationship with God. It also entails a public and transforming relationship with the world. Embracing the gospel, or good news, proclaimed by Jesus is so much more than a private transaction between God and us. The gospel itself was born of God's vision of a changed people, challenging and transforming the prevailing values and practices of our world."

[page 3] "...we are carriers of the gospel - the good news that was meant to change the world. Belief is not enough. Worship is not enough. Personal morality is not enough. And Christian community is not enough. God has always demanded more." Okay, I was sold on this intro!

Stearns writes unapologetically from his Christian worldview on the deficiency of response of US churches to pervasive human sufferings in the world.  He provokes readers - who are well-trained by the media to keep a safe detachment and emotional distance from news of disasters, hunger, AIDS, and people dying - to reconsider their apathy to human suffering. Granted that poverty is not an easy problem to solve, he steers from giving pat solutions to persistant poverty - such as giving money [alms] to the poor to change their lives, providing education to guarantee employment - but effectively paints the psychosocial effects of poverty on men, women and children that keep poor communities poor, and presents the case for the have's in the world to see that it is their responsibility not to turn a blind eye on the sufferings of the have-not's that is fuelling an alarming disparity between the rich and poor in the world.

Just as Stearns is realistic about the form and extent of human sufferings, he is also matter-of-fact in laying out what rich nations think will help the poor and what the poor nations really need. His observation of the poor and needy is treated with the respect due from one human being to another. 

I read this book very slowly and carefully as one who had been guilty of being unfeeling towards AIDS patients (until I did a news report on AIDS as a broadcast course requirement), of one who had only seen hunger and poverty as a political problem, and most importantly, as one who had not known much, seen much, or done much about human sufferings in the world.

If there is one book to take one from ignorance and apathy to involvement and action, this is it.

  

Where you can get it: S$23.50 SKS Books ISBN: 978-0-8499-4676-9 [published 2009]; also available in Popular bookstores, about S$26.00.
Level of impact: After a Christmas visit to an orphanage in Vietnam, I began to see how easy it was to reach out to the poor and needy and that the Bible reminds us again and again not to neglect them. This book definitely made that connection in my heart, and helped me see the humanity among those suffering in distant lands beyond the socio-political issues involved.
Timing of book: Timely preparation of my heart for the social services course I am taking.

SOCIAL MEDIA 101

TACTICS & TIPS TO DEVELOP YOUR BUSINESS ONLINE by Chris Brogan

Having just changed my phone to one of andriod breed [an operating system for mobiles that is ranked fourth most popular smartphone device-platform in the United States as of February 2010], I was naturally interested to explore on social media. What andriod seems capable of is that it enables my phone to host a wide range of social media. What I'm capable of, however, lags far behind ... so, purely judging a book by its cover, this book seemed timely.

As a guide for a social media dummy like myself, I was hoping to find explanations or  illustrations showing how different social media such as Twitter and Facebook connect with audience and how each medium connect with each other. Perhaps I am too much of a dummy to find it and sadly, I didn't learn anything that improved my knowledge of the power of social media for social or business use. Maybe it's not written for dummies!

Where you can get it: NLB
Level of impact: None
Timing of book: Title alone - very relevant to these times when social media is a conversation buzzword that seems to elude those above forty!

Creative Capitalism compiled by Michael Kinsley

Bill Gates put forth 'Creative Capitalism' as the way profitable businesses can offer solutions to help make life better for the poorest on earth where philanthrophy, governments and charitable organisations can be limited. He proposed that businesses continue to do what they are good at doing and use about 10% of their time and talent in creation and innovation to produce solutions to help the poor who will never be able to afford their products. What follows are chapter by chapter debates from worthy advocates and adversaries or at times, bi-positional proponents. I like the intensity, directness and diplomacy of the debate.

One thought summary: I always believe that there is a bigger reason for getting up in the morning in the same way that there is a bigger reason for business beyond generating good money. Therefore, I tend to lean towards Gates' position that businesses are important players in society and the world to improve the living conditions of the underprivileged or 'the needy and the poor of the earth' [Isaiah 11:4]. I also find the longterm intangible benefits of engaging in such social causes valid to the business and these can range from attracting new investments or good calibre employees, to garnering the goodwill of governments and people groups.

Where you can get it: Kinokuniya S$47.03; National Library
Level of impact: Intense and urgent
Timing of book: Good timing